Wednesday, 16 March 2011

Dear Militant Birthivists and Lactivists

It is abundantly clear that you think that both birth and feeding an infant are competitive sports.

Nobody has made a greater contribution to the depths that the Mommy Olympics will sink to.

So I hereby award you the gold medals you so richly deserve.

Tuesday, 15 March 2011

Anti anti c-sectionism

During our morning of homeschool we were learning about persuasive writing. A few fun generators were pressed into action. Mummy had to sit on her hands till school finished so she could have a go herself.
My response to repugnant and baseless accusation that c-sections typically have grave implications for the maternal\child bond.
Has it never occurred to the militant "natural" birth crowd that the fastest way to impede a mother bonding with her child after a c-section is to keep telling her that she can't, won't or hasn't ?
How come the power of suggestion is a crime against womankind when it comes to offering an epidural, yet bombarding a mother with the message that the way she gave birth leads to problematic or substandard bonding is perceived as morally neutral ?

Tuesday, 8 March 2011

Jack shit to do with milk.

Anti Militant Lactivism arguments are often countered with statements like this.....

‎"For premature infants breast milk can be life saving"

Quite possibly, but doesn't that rather prove the Anti Militant lactivist's point ?

Because the statement about premature babies supports "Breast is best....for some of the babies...some of the time...kind of depends on the circs"

Which is a bit different from the big stick known as "Breast is Best" (fullstop) used to wallop all of the mothers, of all of the babies, all of the time.

If pro breastfeeding activists wish to continue to lose credibility by making unsubstantiated overstatements then that is up to them. But they should not then go on to whinge about the backlash caused by the strategies that they have chosen DESPITE a wealth of human history pointing to how hectoring and less than honest soundbites tend not to go down well in the longer term.

You'd have though the lack of anticipated uptake in breastfeeding, despite the money, time and energy poured into promoting it, would have acted as some kind of feedback re the strategies used.

But no, instead it has become as exercise in proving "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results"

Despite it not working, Militant Lactivists seem loath to give up the judgmental, finger wagging, self satisfied misinformation.

What does that tell us ?

Perhaps that breastfeeding has nothing to do with their primary motivation ?

That the object of the stratagy is less thrilling than the mode of the stratagy ?

NB, I breastfed for a year, I liked it, he liked it, it worked for us, but I am REVOLTED by the strategies and tone of the Militant Breastfeeders, cos their need to undertake the role has jack shit to do with milk.

Saturday, 5 March 2011

I am a mummy and I have instincts.

I am a mummy and I have instincts.

I listen to them.

And this is what they tell me.

I am not a doctor, so I shouldn't massage my ego at the expense of my child's health, or well being by pretending my comprehension and knowledge of medicine is comparable to that of a qualified physician. Second opinions when in doubt, are good.  No medical opinions (other than my own) ---->  Not so good.

Life is not risk free, so I should hedge my bets by focusing on reducing unnecessary risk where I can. Thus I strap my kid into the seat in the car, I vaccinate him and I use actual doctors, rather than "Woo Ministers" who would make a profit off me at my child's expense.

I love my child to bits and if by prioritizing my feelings over making a rational decision I hurt him, I think I would suffer horribly. So I'm not inclined to seek out information that confirms my bias, I want the real picture, not just the one that feels good to read. I don't have the capacity to live in denial, or convince myself I am blame free when all the evidence points to the opposite, so it makes sense to protect BOTH of us by putting his needs on a higher plane than my feelings or leanings.

I am not infallible. I am flawed, emotionally involved and limited by the fact that no one human can be an expert on all things. So I cannot justify declaring myself the single person who knows what is best for my child, in every scenario, all of the time. I will have to step back, listen and trust professionals at certain points if I want to best serve my son's needs. Real professionals. Not ones who buy their qualifications from diploma mills, or take the lay\psuedo route cos they can't be arsed to put their back into becoming a true professional. I need to seek out Professionals who are held  accountable if it all goes wrong, because I owe my child the economic power to provided for him,  for his whole life, including when I am gone, should malpractice occur.

I gave up being number one the day he was born. I still count, I have no desire to be submissive to motherhood to the extent that I disappear as an individual above and beyond my maternal status. But my desires are not more important than his needs. I'm human which means I have the capacity to be unwittingly selfish and to dress that egotistical leaning up in "being a better mother" in order to quell any pricking conscious that would warn me I am going off piste. I need to pay attention to the pricking to the extent that I actively turn up the volume, so I can listen more attentively. It is my early warning system, so pulling the batteries out of it, sticking my fingers in my ears and singing "la la la I can't hear you cos I'M RIGHT !!!!"  would be one of the least moral things I could do as a mother.

I will fail. As a mother, as a woman, as a human, at at some point I will let my son down. Because I am not perfect. Which means it is a jolly good idea NOT to convince myself that I am infallible and pootle along without any introspection about the motivation behind my choices, the quality of any information I accept as valid and the agenda of those I turn to for  confirmation of my stance. My best protection against failing needlessly is maintaining a critical eye when it comes to my own choices.

My son goes in a car seat, is vaccinated, was born in a hospital by c-section, sees a doctor when he is sick, is provided with an education that is not wholly based on his preferences BECAUSE I am a mother, I have instincts and I follow them.

Maternal instincts are not the sole property of the Militant Crunchies.

We all have them.

It's just that some of us don't see the I in instincts as a green light to it being "All About ME !!!"*

*Two can play at the sanctimummy game, I am not above using it as a neutralizing agent on the basis of fighting fire with fire.

better news on the vaccine front

I'm loving this video

And this site leads to a campaign that may well provide the blueprint for combating vaccine fear (created by the conspiracy theorists among us) in mainstream parents.

Won't do any good when it comes to the Militant Crunchies.

But then they hold a faith based position and there is not a lot you can do to reach them. What can you do if a drowning man acts like the life belt you are throwing him is a bag of bricks aimed at dragging him under and civil liberties prohibits you from jumping in and dragging him out of the water ?

Not a lot really.

So I see no other choice than to accept that the Militant Crunchies' children have been nominated as collateral damage, in the name of the faith, by the very people who are supposed to love them the most, and focus instead on the parents who do not have a mindset super-glued in place with hand woven lentils.

I'd suggest posting the video and link to the campaign wherever and whenever anti vax irrationality rears its ugly head on mainstream blogs and forums.

Not to try and convince the people worshiping his High Holiness, Saint Wakefield, but to offer an alternative route to becoming informed for lurkers, who may not be aware that resources packed with accurate information are out there.

I DiD DoNe eDuCaTiVe MySelF !!

The boundaries of many words are being pushed so hard that they are losing all meaning. Shame that "educated" had to be one of them.

Here a woman, who has "educated" herself, takes on the "poison pill pushing", Big Pharma shill, "conspiring against the mummies" nurse, who made the outrageous suggestion that a sick child take a trip to the doc to see what's up.